Faith of a Little Child

20th January 2009

11.30pm, home. Browsing through few Pharmacy sites that offer CME courses. Realise that my Pharmacopherapy knowledge has seems to dip down a lot. Been in administration and management for a while, less touching on clinical side. Ya, guess it's time for me to brush up my knowledge, which wil definitely be useful in the near future.

Celina called a while ago, sharing on the company's bonus, less than last year. And I just got my RM200 CNY angpow from GMC today. Even though it's RM200 lesser than last year, at least something better than nothing. The global recession really hitting hard on every industries and healthcare is not exception. Not too sure if government hospital is affected, but definitely private can see a significant lower volume. Scary to think of it.. working real hard in 2008 for JCI and MSQH preparation but just because of economic downturn company using such excuses to cut increment, bonuses and no need to mention about performance incentives lar. Am still hoping though.. maybe I should go and ask tomorrow.. but whatever the result, gonna accept it and move on. Need to learn to be thankful, not only in good times, but also in bad times.

Read today's ODB,
James tells us that when we ask God for wisdom, the key to His response is whether or not we are asking “in faith” (1:6). God is pleased when we approach Him with unwavering faith. So leave your doubt at the door and follow the protocol: Approach God with a heart of faith, and He will be pleased to provide all the wisdom you need.

Yes, am kinda weary of what the future holds.. 2009 will definitely be a challenging year. A year filled with loads of CHANGES, and CHALLENGES and COMMITTMENTS. Am I ready for that? Am I just looking at the surface and hearing my own voice, or God's voice? I need the wisdom, more wisdom and dicerment to make decision,.. I don't wanna make decision of my own, I want to include Him in this decision, and trust Him.. ya, faith like a little child. Am not sure whether am gonna make it, but Daddy is holding my hands in this race that I run... And I am not running alone. Gonna have faith like a little child.

God, give me the faith of a little child! A faith that will look to Thee—That never will falter and never fail, But follow Thee trustingly. —Showerman

The Invasion of Vision...

11st January 2009,

10pm, am sitting in the living room, on my couch with my headphone (yes, I look like receptionst, you should see how I look now). Am listening to my favourite Avalon album. Laptop on my lap.. while typing & blogging as the music plays. Trying to come back to my normal blogging habits which I used to love doing in my freetime. Now that I have unlimited internet assess at home, other than downloading stuff, facebook, chatting & surfing.. ya now I should continue to blog, to learn to express again, to learn to open up my heart in words again.

Yes, today's sermon is good. The sermon title is "Invasion on Vision".. Persevering our passion and vision. (Ezra 4:1-24). Briefly talking on the people of God, Judah and Benjamin, who builds a temple (the house of God), and how they persevere through the many attacks and invasion of the enemy that trying to stop their plan. There are 3 attacks of the enemy that we can learn from the passage in Ezra. (1) Compromising, (2) Confusion- mind attack and (3) Legistration (governance and law), which can hinder us from persuing our vision. As for me, I can identify on the first two. With the current cyber world, you can assess any informations with a fingertip into the internet.. the worldly approach, wordly system and scheme that easily entice us, into many different kind of temptations. Yes, I can be a cyber-addict.. I can just sit down on the computer and close myself from other fellowship, just spending time with computer, how unhealthy. Sometimes when I get back from the office, I'll straight go to my laptop, without even talking to mum. This must be stopped!... That is the reason I refused to put up internet connection at home for so long. But now, I just need to learn to practise self-control.

As for aligning with the vision of the church, I know I've not been passionate as I used to be. I wonder will every 'old' Christian experience such different stages? How do you evaluate whether you are 'passionate'? Serving actively in church, reading Bible more, or praying more? It's all about choices, that's what Becky said... no one can judge or gauge on the level of passion. It's you alone to judge it yourself. It's your RELATIONSHIP with God, how much you falling in love with Him, that determine your passion? I must admit I don't do my devotion consistently, sometimes I don't talk to Him, it's shameful to speak, we can read our lover letters/smses time after time and never get bored with it, what more the Word of God! Attack no (2), on the mind... creating confusion... oh how many times I've been so negative on so many things?...

A Christian can experienced so much of the attacks and difficulties, what more those who don't even know Jesus. I should be thankful, at least Daddy is always there guiding us through. And we have the Words of the Living God, but are we utilising it?

2009 - A Year of Restructuring

8th January 2009,

11.40pm, Thursday night. This is my first blog entry in 2009. Went to Media Meeting just now, SC shared on "Restructing our Love" for the second time. Am touched again. EPCC theme for this year is A Year of Restructuring - to start with restructuring our love first. The theme is so relevant to us - LOVE is the core of all, the foundation of our faith and action.

I quoted part of the message from Pastor Sam:
"We praise God for a good number of people already active in serving. But we are looking further into just serving in the church ministries. We are looking ito creating a culture of healthy serving and caring of church members. We want ours church members who care ad bear with each other's needs ad develop not only skill to serve but also HEART to LOVE and HONOUR one another...."

Am evaluating myself, my heart. Am I truly firm and secure in love, at least first being secure in Him. I guess maybe I am lacking of that foundation.. and easily swayed around with circumstances and temptation. It's time, it's time.. to restructure my heart, my LOVE for Him, my passions and vision. FOCUS Shirley, stayed FOCUS!!... Be firmly rooted. I was reminded again and again of Hebs,.. Let us throw off everthing that hinders and sin that so easily entangles... RUN, Perseveres on the race set for us. FIX our eyes in Him.. It's abou actions, choices, initiatives... Do it Shirley... Don't give up! Come back from your detour, Come back!

Hebrews 12:1
1Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. 2Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

I always thank God for bringng so many wonderful people crossing my path. Godly man and women, they are so ever encouraging, set examples of Godly leadership. My thousands thanks to Becky (not only my CGL but my closest friend in EPCC), Ps Mei (powerful Words, always point us to Christ), Tze Han (humble, simple but great leader)& Celina (eventhough she's younger than me, but spiritually she's like a che che to me...shame on Shirley eh?):PP I need to stop sitting on the fence, but to come down and just do it! Just do it!

Heb12:12 Therefore... strengthen the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be dislocated, but rather be healed.

2009- I WANT to renew my love for Him, and renew my spiritual vitality... for His service! But first.. RESTRUCTURING of my LOVE.